You may have tried to get repair auditing from Independent Scientology Field auditors, but unfortunately no amount of ARCX handling and Questionable Auditing Repair Lists are likely to touch the upset and anger that still rises to the fore when someone mentions Six Month Checks, or auditors who do not speak English, or bright young Ethics officers who act like dedicated Hitler Youth members.
The betrayal of trust and gross invalidation one experiences in the church will leave psychic scars that never seem to heal. The difference between the promise of spiritual freedom and the actuality of brutal indoctrination is so great that many people never recover from their church experience. Scientology restimulates the worst of some common whole track abuses and the effects will last for years and years.
The church has been in a bad way ever since the early Eighties since the robotic Golden Age of Tech auditors emerged to eliminate almost any possibility of case gain. Their actions seem to parallel some early track societies which you may not remember but the spiritual beings surrounding you are still freaking out about the indoctrination they experienced.
You have enough distractions with your body and working to survive that your Scientology engrams are mostly flat. On the other hand, your spiritual passengers (body thetans and spirit guides) have never been adequately handled and they are probably not very real to you anyway.
As a result, any discussion of Scientology and its treatment of you will raise your hackles and leave you disturbed for the rest of the day. This will be true even when you have left Scientology years ago.
The easy solution to all of this unnecessary restimulation is to get a few hours of Spiritual Rescue Technology counseling which will free your disturbed spiritual companions from the incidents they are stuck in and bring them into present time. SRT counseling will free your disturbed spiritual companions no matter where you were on the Bridge.
Read my book and contact me if you feel I can help you.
David St Lawrence