Once you learn how to make people happy and can do it without effort, you can learn how to recognize when the person is resisting your efforts to make them happy and adjust your expectations of doing business accordingly.
First of all, not everyone wants to do business with you, or to be your friend, or to have you as an employee. If you cannot bring someone up to friendly behavior with polite conversation, there is no reason to continue and you should say to yourself, “NEXT!” and look for another person to communicate with.
There can be several barriers to doing business with people who actually need what you are willing to provide. 1. They do not like you for some reason. 2. They do not understand what you are willing to provide. 3. You are already trying to do business when you have not handled barriers #1 and #2.
If you cannot bring a person out of hostility with a few friendly remarks, you are facing a situation which will not result in satisfactory business transactions. Look at it this way, if there is no opportunity to make friends, there is no opportunity to do business. You will do best by using caring communication and suggesting someone else they might be happier with.
If you are successful in making the person feel important by what you are saying and you have developed a reality between you and them, you still need to create affinity for what you are providing and create a reality on what it will do for them.
As a counselor, it is fairly easy for me to make friends with people and make them feel important in a very short time. It is a more challenging task to get them to share their fears and major life issues, but it can be done if I have made myself real to them and made them feel important. Once they feel safe sharing a problem that bothers them, I have the task of convincing them that I have a solution for that problem.
This is where experience comes in. When you have already solved the problem that this person is concerned about, a simple narrative of how the solution was accomplished can go a long way toward getting the person interested in what you have to offer.
I may have made this sound complicated, but every step is designed to make the prospect happy about dealing with me, happy about what I do, and happy about the solution I offer for his problem. If at any point, I find I am making the prospect unhappy I go back to the last step where happiness was occurring and remedy what I have changed or cheerfully end off with the last friendly step.
The person may have been very happy to meet me and share life experiences, and happy to hear that I am a spiritual counselor, but his upbringing may stop any further discussion of spirits as that is an evil practice and is forbidden to him. If I end off and make it safe for him to refuse any further exposure to spirits, we will remain friends and our relationship will continue with no fear that I will involve him in spiritual matters.
If you are selling insurance or providing any kind of service, you will not be wasting your time making friends with people and letting them know what services you provide. If you can make them happy in the process of meeting them and describing what you do, they will not feel threatened and may even mention you to others. People will refer others to someone they feel good about. Making people happy is almost a guarantee that you will get referrals.
I get new people showing up unannounced because someone I know has mentioned what I do. They did not need it, but thought that a friend could use my skill at handling troubled spirits.
Another point to remember is that your prospects are not really interested in how complete your insurance offering is, or how many spirits you can scare away, they want solutions and how you achieve the solution is less important than how quickly can you provide the solution. If you can make a person happy by discussing a solution for their problem, you can build trust so they will accept the work that goes into providing the solution.
If you can break down a commercial transaction into the following steps, I think you will find your success rates will soar:
1. Make friends with the person so you are real to them and you are both happy with the result.
2. Discover what problem they are facing and determine if they are willing to pay for a solution for it.
3. Introduce your product or service to them so that it is real to them and make them happy about it.
3. Discuss how you are going to provide the solution they need and make them happy about it.
At any point in this process, if the person starts resisting what you are doing, be prepared to end off in a friendly manner. If you have done the steps well, you may not have a customer, but you will have a new acquaintance who may end up referring you to others. You will also find that the process will not exhaust you, but will leave you feeling satisfied whatever the outcome.
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