When you leave a cult or any other tightly controlled religious group, you are betraying them as far as they are concerned. Ask any ex Sea Org member or Muslim who switched to another religion how they are viewed by their former comrades. The fact that you abandoned them means that they can use any means to punish you.
The reason for your leaving does not matter. It is enough for them that you no longer support their grand campaign for taking over civilization.
There were many groups in the distant past which featured tight discipline and expected absolute loyalty from its members. The fact that you are leading a productive life and supporting your family and your community are meaningless to them and their opinion can cause you to feel shame and guilt even when you are doing marvelous things that benefit others and civilization in general.
They can be the reason you cannot seem to succeed, no matter how you try and why you feel shame when you are not succeeding. Come and discover how many ways they can affect your life.
Join me Sunday, 12-14-19, at 12 noon on Zoom using this link: https://zoom.us/j/4710611444 There is a $10 donation for the webinar, and if you have not already paid, please use this link: paypal.me/DavidStLawrence/10